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I really don’t know how to say this any other way. My dog decided to talk to me the other night and he had a lot to say. It initially played like any other night really. Once again, I was tossing and turning, in and out of sleep. I was half awake, mulling over my job situation: I want to make money writing but I need an income more. Then the most bizarre thing happened. “Hey human Bob! This is your best friend speaking! Wake up!” Who the hell was that? It was a deep, low voice; strong and certain with a hint of a bourbon induced slur. Sounded like Dean Martin actually. I immediately sat up. It was pitch black. The radio clock blurred 3:53 in a dull crimson light. All I could make out was the shadowy outline of Parker, my trusty beagle, sitting upright at my feet. “Hey boy, did you hear that?” I whispered instinctively. “Someone’s in the house.” My vision was starting to warm up to the darkness. Parker just stared back at me, his head tilted, his long ears hanging to the side of his head like hand towels on a wall. He turned his head to the bedroom doorway, lifted his nose to the night and sniffed. He turned back to face me. “Don’t think so.” I swore Parker spoke but it couldn’t be. I mean his hound drawn lips seemed to move to the words I heard but that was impossible. “Who’s there?” I yelled into the night. “Whoever it is, I am warning you that I am at this moment retrieving my loaded double-barrel twelve gauge from under the bed. I will shoot you. So leave now and I want to hear the door slam behind you.” I made some dumb noises in a lame attempt to fool the intruder into believing what I had just proclaimed. I took the ruse to the next level. “Okay. I’m fully armed and about to call 911 from my fully powered cell phone. Oh yeah, strong signal, four bars. Oh yeah, this is going to be a very clear 911 call.” “You’re breaking me up. Put the phone down human Bob.” It was Parker talking. I was certain of it. Nah, it had to be a sick trick. “Okay, good one Steve. You wired up the dog with a little speaker. Very funny.” My brother Steve was known to go to great lengths to pull off pranks. But I was pretty sure he was at his apartment in the city, sixty miles away, God knows doing what, and at 48 years old, unlikely to suddenly bother me with a prank—it had been 25 years since his last one. But the mind scrambles to the most implausible scenarios when so duly challenged. “Don’t think so. Nope it’s me, Parker,” the dog mumbled. I was positive he spoke again. By now I was sitting straight up, leaning towards him. He just sat there and looked at me with those big dark eyes. His poker face was on. “Parker? Are you talking to me?” “Well I’m not talking to myself.” I leaned back against the headboard. He yawned. “This can’t be. I’ve got to stop watching Animal Planet.” “Listen, I’ve got something to say and I’m not sure how long this talking stuff is going to work so …” “You are talking!” I interrupted incredulously. “Should you want I bow wow?” “Holy cow! Parker you are talking.” “Yup. But I’m not sure for how long. So can I say a few things before …” “I can’t believe this.” “Yeah I know. Either can I but if you don’t mind.” I looked at him with a giant smile plastered across my face. Parker can talk. The dog was talking. Who was I kidding? It had to be a prank. He continued. “I’ve been listening to a lot of that talk radio and that C-SPAN channel you watch while you write. I’m here to tell ya I don’t like what I’m hearing.” “You’re kidding me right?” “Afraid not.” Oh this was good. I was really hallucinating. Talk-shmalk, I had a few nagging questions of my own. “Hey, can I ask you something before you get to your stuff?” “Make it quick. I haven’t got all night.” “You like smell things a hundred times more than we do, right?” “Four hundred.” “Okay, four hundred. Wow! Then I really wonder about this.” “Yeah I know. Why do we like to sniff every morsel of excrement or yellow patch of urine we encounter on our walks?” “Now that you bring it up, yeah, why? It must smell like the inside of Dick Cheney’s or Ted Kennedy’s septic tank? And you know how much crap they’re filled with.” “That was a funny one human Bob. But it isn’t like what you smell. We pick up a lot more notes. It’s a broader pallet if you will. We don’t smell stink. We smell identity, mood, and illness. For instance, you know that crazy cairn terrier down the street?” “Yeah.” “She has stomach cancer and her humans don’t have a clue.” “You are kidding me?” “She probably has less than six months if they don’t get her to a vet soon.” He paused to lick his right front paw. “Yeah, and another thing. Don’t take me out at nights for awhile.” “Why?” “Cause there is a rabid possum living under the porch. That’s why.” “You know this from the smell of possum poop?” “Excrement.” “Whatever.” “Yup.” Parker yawned as if bored. “So is that it? Can I say what I need to say?” “Well there is that thing you do with that licking your, you know, your …” “Penis?” “Well, yeah.” “Jealous are we?” “Well, it’s just that …” “It’s all about keeping clean. Nothing pleasurable if that’s what you’re driving at. Nothing like what you do with your hand. By the way, I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t pet me afterwards. Nope, no pleasure; it’s all business. You made sure of that when you had me “fixed”, remember. Thank you very much.” “Oh yeah, sorry about that. I had no idea you knew any different.” “No idea my butt. I’ll ‘no idea’ ya.” He paused again to lick his right paw again and then continued. “But I don’t hold it against you. We don’t hold grudges. Heck, if we did, we would have mauled most humans dead by now. Which brings me to why I am talking to you.” “No grudges. Really? I mean that “fixing” stuff is pretty serious. That’s pretty good if that doesn’t bother you.” “You done? Can I get to my concern?” “Sure. Sorry. Go ahead.” “How can humans be so smart supposedly, while they single handedly are destroying the Earth?” “You mean global warming?” “It’s more than that. It’s the air. It’s the water. It’s the dirt. It’s the forests. It’s the killing. It’s the anger. It’s the hate. It’s the grudges. It’s the fear. It’s everything.” “Oh come on. You’re being a little dramatic.” “We don’t know dramatic.” “Well give me examples of what you mean.” “First of all, the air is filled with danger. Dogs, cats, birds, animals of all kinds can smell it. It is our biggest topic when we get together.” “I don’t smell a thing.” “Yeah, that’s part of the problem. And you can’t taste the troubled water either.” “Scientists don’t seem to be complaining. So I should be listening to a dog?” “We have no agenda. Dogs call it as they smell it.” “ ‘call it as they smell it’; I’m suppose to just accept that?” “Yeah, there is a lot you should just accept.” “Oh yeah, like what else?” “Well, and here is what I think is the crux of the problem, you keep choosing the wrong alpha humans.” “What?” “You’ve got this alpha thing all wrong. Just because animals order their packs based on physical size and strength doesn’t make it so for humans. We do it because we are simple. You do it because you are thoughtless. That’s what we, and I think it is fair to say I am speaking for all animals, don’t get. Humans are able to think things through. But they never do. Well, that’s not completely true; some have but they are mocked or marginalized. An alpha dog barks and gets all puffy, like that wacky shepherd Sarge from around the block. The worst he can do is break out of his electronic fence and charge one of us. But you humans take it up a notch.” “Can you give me a for instance?” “God there are so many. Let me see. Okay, you’ve elected a president who pounds his chest and walks around like a gorilla with its arms all out to the side, all tough and all, carrying on with ‘bring it on’. When he jumps the fence, he brings tanks and bombs and humans loaded down in weapons and in body armor. Meanwhile, you have alpha males all over the place, flexing their muscle in their packs, threatening to obtain nuclear weapons, the great equalizer, giving the president one excuse after another to hop the fence. It’s nuts. And I for one am telling you, you’ve got it all wrong.” “Well, I don’t know what to say.” “You don’t need to say anything. Just start picking the right alpha humans; humans whose visions see beyond fighting, whose hearts hold no grudges, whose thoughts and reasons are not the products of testosterone, whose collective knowledge is rooted in the concept that true peace is never the consequence of war but the outcome of constant learning, negotiating and adjusting.” “This is what you want to tell me? Nothin’ for nothin’ but it’s a little heavy for a little chat with a dog at 3:30 in the morning.” “In a nut shell, yeah.” It was hard to accept this from my beagle. I mean, he’s a dog; a sleeping, eating, sniffing, crapping dog. I was chalking this whole episode up to stress. I was apparently snapping. “That’s it. I’m pretty much done. Just one last thing while I have the chance.” “What? World hunger? String theory?” I asked sarcastically. “You get the right alpha humans and the world hunger thing will take care of itself, smart ass. As far as string theory, who do you think I am, Hawking? I’m just a dog. No it’s more pedestrian than that, something I think you can manage.” “Then what, already?” I asked impatiently. “You know that thing you do occasionally where you empty the dish washer in the buff.” “Ummm … yeah I guess.” “Put some clothes on. It’s disturbing. I’m beggin’ ya, please!” “All right, but only if you lick your privates in private.” “I’ll see what I can do. No promises.” “So this is it? No more talking? You know we could make a fortune on Letterman with his stupid pet tricks.” “It’ll never happen. You see, this is a one time deal. Not sure why or how this is happening. Maybe that God guy is involved somehow. All I know is that when it is done, it is …” He abruptly stopped talking. “Parker?” Not a grunt. He yawned and as he did he stretched his front legs out and spread across the foot of the bed, his ears resting flat on the blanket. “Parker … are you done? Is that it?” He slowly closed his eyes and floated off to sleep. “Parker … just like that?” He began to twitch; in hot pursuit of a fox I imagined. “Holy smokes. I must be dreaming myself.” I curled back down under the safety of my covers, scratched my butt and thought about the conversation I had just had with Parker or myself or both. I sniffed the air. It smelled fine to me. What the heck was he talking about, ‘danger in the air’? It had to be a dream. As I drifted off to sleep, I thought about getting a real job real soon, apparently this writing stuff was getting the best of me. I also made a point to remember to talk to the owners of that crazy cairn terrier. I thought it was the least I could do. One can’t be too dismissive of the unexplainable these days. free penis enlagement video vimax penis enlargement herb truth about penis enlarement penile enlargement surgery picture penis enlargment excersizes penis enargement vimax customer service vimax natural penis enlargement pills

penis elargement program

Kegel exercises are a modern take on an ancient idea. For those of you who are not aware, exercising the pubococcygeus muscle was first developed by the Taoist movement in China quite some time ago. Their exercises were meant to strengthen various muscles in order to promote health, longevity, spiritual development and also better sex. Doctor Arnold Kegel has simply made this kind of exercises popular in another age and brought them to the attention of more people than ever before. The name ‘Kegel’ is another way of referring to exercises whose aim is to restore and increase the tone of the pubococcygeus muscle by regular clenching and unclenching. A strong PC muscle helps men maintain control of erections and ejaculations, increases the flow of blood to the penis, keeps the prostate in check in old age and prevents incontinence. Women can also use Kegels to bring their vagina back into shape after the stretching caused by childbirth. As you can see, Kegels are great for both men and women and are best taken up early on in order to prepare the pelvic floor for old age. The role of the pubococcygeus muscle in the sexual health of men and women has been thoroughly documented over the years. The San Francisco Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality published a study on Kegel Exercises in 1983 which focused on the sexual benefits women can get from exercising their PC muscles, while Jack Morin authored a study called Anal Pleasure and Health in 1981. The bottom line of these studies was the simple fact that well toned pelvic muscles, including the PC muscle, improve sexual control and play a key part in achieving orgasm. The PC muscle can be identified by stopping urination mid-flow. Anybody who has ever tried to keep from urinating knows instinctively what muscles to tense in order to close the urethra and prevent the emptying of your bladder. Men can usually identify the PC muscle by tensing the muscles in their pelvic floor until they find the one that makes their penis jump. This is best done with an erect penis, because the movement of the penis is easier to observe. Basically, the muscle is located between the scrotum and the anus. As stated above, the main benefit men get out of exercising their pubococcygeus muscle is the vastly increased control over ejaculation and the improved erection. PC flexes, just like any other exercises, draw more blood to the area because the muscles need oxygen to repair their cells after exercises. The increase in blood supply helps the penis reach full erection faster and also to last in this phase longer than usual. Moreover, since a well toned PC muscle can stop the flow of urine, it can also stop the flow of semen. Therefore, exercises help men gain control over the ejaculation and ejaculate whenever they want, which is a boon to any man and especially to those who suffer from premature ejaculation. Naturally, the PenisHealth program features PC flexes because these exercises are crucial to the overall health of the penis. A strong pubococcygeus muscle helps promote blood flow to the pubic area, thus increasing the chances that penis enlargement occurs. Not to mention that performing ejaculation control exercises along with the penis enlargement routines is the best way of achieving two goals at once: longer and thicker penis and erections and ejaculations on demand. What more could you ask for? penis enlarement picture penis enlargement pic before and after penis enlagement cream penis enhancement pills product penis enlarement device best enhancement exercise penis penis girth elargement penis enlargment surgery picture penis elargement program

And the males are the very sensitive ones when it comes to this subject matter. Society dictates that they should be macho and must possess sexual prowess. But there is such a thing as Erectile dysfunction or ED. It is a condition in which a man in unable to get or maintain his penis erect sufficiently for sexual activity. This condition affects millions of men worldwide. There are many causes of ED and experts have blamed diabetes, heart disorders, and high blood pressure. For the psychological factors, there’s depression, anxiety, and fear. Medications may also cause ED like sleeping pills, anti-depressants, and blood pressure-lowering drugs. Harmful substances can also be the culprit like cigarette and alcohol. Drugs have been formulated to combat ED and we are know familiar with names like Viagra, Cialis and Levitra. Of course, there’s also the many contraptions used to achieve an erection like vacuum pumps and penile suppositories. Some men would opt for surgery and hormone therapy. Ancient medicinal knowledge though has revealed to us that there are herbal plants used in boosting sexual performance and they are the following: Gingko Bilboa Gingko Bilboa is an extract from an ancient tree species native to China. It is widely used to enhance memory and other mental abilities because it can reportedly increase blood flow and oxygen to the brain. Its beneficial effect on blood circulation is said to extend to the penis, thus helping those with erection problems. Ginseng Used in traditional Oriental medicine for centuries, this very famous root is believed to increase vitality and improve overall well-being. These effects alone, according to researchers, are usually enough to make someone become more active sexually. Other researchers say that ginseng also helps relax the artery walls, resulting in increased blood flow to all parts of the body including the sexual organs. Yohimbe The bark of this tree has long been used as an aphrodisiac in Africa and as a treatment for impotence in Europe. A purified extract called yohimbine, has even gained US FDA approval as a treatment for men with ED before Viagra became available. Just like with PDE5 drugs, yohimbine works by increasing blood flow to the penis, and it may have an effect as well on brain chemistry. Horny Goat Weed Also known simply as epimedium, this herb with a very catchy and suggestive name is popularly used in China for its various sex-enhancing effects. It reportedly increases sperm production, and it also raises the level of the male sex hormone testosterone, which is directly linked to sex drive. medical penis enlagement herbal natural penis enlargement herbal natural penis enargement top rated penile enlargment pills penis elargement fact free penile enlargement technique natural penis enlarement pills enlargement forum free matter penile size penis elargement program

Happiness and sexuality may not be grossly proportionate to each other but a healthy sex life can definitely be the source of happiness. For a happy sexual life, it is necessary to take adequate care of our physical and sexual health. But many content relationships find themselves in the dock when one of the partners is diagnosed with a sexual dysfunction. Latest studies have indicated the emergence of sexual dysfunction in women termed Female sexual dysfunction (FSD) and says that 50 percent women over the age of thirty faces the risk of sexual dysfunction. But in most cases it is the male sexual dysfunction which has reached alarming levels affecting millions across the world. The most significant among them is erectile dysfunction or impotence. As commonly believed, any problem related to sexual life like, lack of sexual desire, premature ejaculation or problem with orgasm is considered to be impotence. But in reality, impotence or erectile dysfunction is the inability in a man to achieve or sustain an erection necessary for sexual activity. An occasional failure in having an erection cannot be judged as erectile dysfunction. It is diagnosed so if maintaining an erection becomes a consistent problem for a prolonged period of time. Men suffering from impotence are too embarrassed to speak about their sexual dilemma and they live under continuous stress fearing rejection by their loved one. Such situations can jeopardize many relationships. So talk to your partner because, problem shared is problem halved and you can definitely win over impotence. Consult your physician and seek out an amiable treatment. Though medical experts and researchers all over world have been trying out various forms of treatment but the most popular and widely accepted treatment has been with the oral prescription drug Viagra. Since its FDA approval and introduction to its consumers in 1998, Viagra has successfully managed to acquire their trust both with its effective qualities and cheap prices. But the main ingredient present in Viagra which is mainly responsible for treating erectile dysfunction is its chemical component Sildenafil citrate. It works by relaxing the penile arteries hardened due to arteriosclerosis and improves the flow of blood to the penis on sexual arousal thus facilitating erection. Viagra is the most publicized drug in its category and its popularity can be assessed by the number of websites providing information on Viagra online. These Viagra online information sites not only provide all information and latest research studies but also cater to free consultations from medical experts. So if you are embarrassed to see a doctor in person you can seek the help of the online medical experts but it is advisable to use Viagra only under medical supervision. Moreover, you can buy Viagra from online pharmacies with the click of a mouse in the privacy of your home. Viagra can definitely transform your sexual dilemma for a happy and content sex life. free penis elargement tip penis enargement surgery picture free penis enhancement pills erection penis pills size vimax do penis enargement pills really work vigrx penis pills buy place vigrx penile enlargement forum penis elargement program

There are various types of birth control available to couples wanting to avoid pregnancy. Of all of these methods only condoms offer a high degree of protection against infection by HIV and other STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) at the same time as providing highly effective prevention of unwanted pregnancy. But just how effective are condoms at preventing pregnancy, and what are some of the factors that have a bearing on their effectivenesss? Effectiveness of Condoms in Preventing Unintended or Unwanted Pregnancy When determining condom effectiveness, it is important to recognize that, as with all methods of contraception, the effectivness of condoms decreases when they are not used correctly. According to one large study, "In one year, only two of every 100 couples who use condoms consistently and correctly will experience an unintended pregnancy - two pregnancies arising from an estimated 8,300 acts of sexual intercourse, for a 0.02 percent per-condom pregnancy rate." Other studies that do not measure for incorrect use, but only for "regular use", indicate that the pregnancy rate may be as high as 15% of couples. But this number is skewed because it includes improper use. The main reason that condoms sometimes fail to prevent pregnancy is incorrect or inconsistent use, not the failure of the condom itself. These studies just ask women how often they have become pregnant when their partners use condoms. But the "failure rate" derived from these statistics includes cases of incorrect usage, tearing due to mishandling of the condom or rough sexual practices, or even where the couple did not use a condom every time they had sex. So it is worth repeating. When condoms are used consistently and correctly they have a very high prevention rate -- between 97% and 99%. But they must be used "consistently and correctly" in order to be this effective. Ways to Prevent Condom "Failure" Here is what you must do to insure you are getting the best protection possible from condoms: Use a condom every time you have sex. The condom must be applied as soon as erection occurs and before any sexual contact (vaginal, anal or oral). Be sure not to tear the condom with teeth or fingernails. Do not use oil-based lubricants such as petroleum jelly (vaseline), cold cream, hand lotion or baby oil, since it can weaken the latex. Withdraw from the partner immediately after ejaculation, holding the condom firmly to keep it from slipping off. Some other Condom Considerations When you buy condoms, read the label. Tests have shown that latex condoms are more likely to give you the added side benefit of preventing the passage of STDs. High quality condoms will be in a package that says the condoms are effective in preventing disease. If the package doesn't say anything about preventing disease, the condoms may not provide the protection you want, even though they may be the most expensive ones you can buy. Novelty condoms (flavored, textured, etc.) are intended primarily for sexual stimulation, not protection. Again, read the label. If it does not say anything about either disease prevention or pregnancy prevention on the package, then it will not be as effective a barrier against pregnancy and disease. For proper protection, a condom must unroll to cover the entire penis. Condoms which do not cover the entire penis will not give you maximum protection. This is another good reason to read the label carefully. Female condoms, while reasonably effective, are not quite as good as male condoms. Although using spermicide by itself (without a condom) is not a very effective way to prevent pregnancy, using condoms that have spermicide added increases their effectiveness. Condoms available from vending machines are not always of top quality. Look for brand names, and read the label carefully. Bright sunlight and heat can weaken the latex, so store them away from sunlight and in a cool place. Where should I buy condoms? If you are buying online, make sure the online store carries a broad range of name brand condoms, contains helpful information about condoms, and is reachable by phone so you can talk to a real person. The best advice is to buy from an established source that deals only in name brand products.