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Is this an all too familiar scenario? Hot and heavy loving with hungry kisses and tender caresses that promise orgasmic bliss for both you and your eager partner when all of a sudden you're one thrust past the edge, the dam bursts and it's over. You're finished, "spent" and ready for sleep. She's still waiting for more, perhaps wistfully contemplating a purchase of that acrylic vibrating dildo her friend has been raving about.
Well, you're not alone in this too-quick-for-her-climax intercourse. The "average" man makes about 50 thrusts before he ejaculates. For most women it takes approximately 10 minutes of active intercourse to reach orgasm. Even the most optimistic lover can see these numbers just don't add up! But don't roll over and nod off yet, there are some simple things you can do to bring your partner and you much closer together.
These male/female discrepancies in timing are part physiological and part habit. Physically men's and women's arousal rates vary widely, but for the most part women become fully turned on much more slowly than men. So a great way to make sure you're both happy with your love life is to include lots of foreplay. Help her reach orgasm with your fingers, tongue, and lips before you even start to have intercourse.
Secondly, most men's experience with sex starts out as rather furtive masturbation, a quick release in the bathroom or under the bedcovers before someone can see what's going on. Then onto early sexual experiences with a girlfriend in back seats of cars or in a basement rec room, again in a hurry, before she changes her mind or her parents come along to change it for her.
Now when you have the time and space for long lovemaking good old John Thomas is still back in the "I've gotta come now" days, and he's not going to slow down just because you tell him to. That's like asking a guy who's trained as a sprint champ to bring home a gold in the 5000 meter instead. He may well be able to make the shift but he's going to need coaching. You can train him with your mind, your muscles and your breath or a combination of all three. It's not entirely up to you either, your loving partner can assist, after all it's for her benefit as well!
The first step is to become aware of your own levels of arousal. Experiment, take your time and give yourself a very real self-loving exploration, not just a quick masturbatory release. Notice how your penis moves through distinct changes before orgasm and ejaculation, he's not just soft and then hard and spewing.
There are four defined stages of erection: lengthening and filling; swelling; full erection; rigid erection. The fourth stage, rigid erection, characterized by a penis that's very stiff (a boner) and very hot, signifies ejaculation is close at hand. Through attentive self-arousal and the playful hands of your sweetheart you can learn how to stay for longer periods of time in the exciting, but less explosive, third stage of firm erection. When you feel yourself moving into the hard, hot level stop stimulation, relax and pay attention to your breathing. Breathe slowly and deeply.
The Power of Breath
Conscious breathing is a key for extended lovemaking. Rapid breathing excites and arouses you. Slow, controlled breathing, way down into your belly, calms you and helps delay ejaculation. Focusing on your breath takes your attention away from your genitals. Synchronizing your breathing rhythm with your partner's strengthens your connection with each other. Adding sound to your breathing can also help you ride the edge of pleasure. As you exhale send out a deep lion roar. Feel the sound come from your scrotum, up through your belly and lungs and out your mouth as a powerful release of the orgasmic tension building inside you.
You can use some of the following "muscle techniques" to postpone ejaculation as well.
PC (pubococcygeous) Muscle Contraction
This is simply squeezing your pelvic floor muscles, around the scrotum, penis and anus as you feel ejaculation approaching. An easy way to practice this is to interrupt your urine stream when you are going to the bathroom.
Perineum Pressure
Pressing on the perineum, a spot midway between your scrotum and your anus, will help to stop ejaculation because this spot reaches through to the prostate gland. It is the prostate that contracts and expands during orgasm and then expels the ejaculation fluid. Ask your partner to apply this loving pressure for you.
Testes Tug
When a man nears orgasm his scrotum rises up closer to his body. You can delay ejaculation by gently pulling your testes down and away from your body. Your partner can also do this for you.
Penis Tip Squeeze
Squeezing your penis just below the head or glans can help to stop oncoming ejaculation. It necessitates withdrawing completely from your partner during intercourse, but is an excellent way to begin practice on your own with masturbation.
Passion Pump
This technique, which combines squeezing the PC muscles, rolling your eyes upward, touching your tongue to the roof of your mouth, and visualizing your sexual energy flowing up through your body while you practice controlled deep breathing is one of the most effective ways of delaying ejaculation. It's a Taoist sexual kung fu technique that has the added benefit of helping you circulate your sexual energy through your body rather than having it remain hot and heavy in your genital region.
Special Tip
It is easier to delay ejaculation by focusing on moving your sex energy through your body rather than focusing on not ejaculating. Stopping movement, relaxing a little and breathing deeply and slowly will all aid with this practice.
The Importance of the Prostate Gland
When you practice delaying ejaculation it is very important to massage the prostate gland, so that it doesn't become sore. You can do this by pressing on the perineum. The prostate can be felt as a bumpy walnut shape beneath your fingers. Especially delightful is massaging in circular motions, first clockwise and then counterclockwise, with a piece of folded silk on the perineum spot.
Thrusting Technique
A superb thrusting technique that brings great pleasure to a woman and helps a man to last is a combination of deep and shallow thrusts. By shallow thrusts we mean your penis only enters 11/2 to 2 inches inside your partner. These first couple of inches are the most sensitive part of a woman's vagina. Deep thrusts mean your penis enters as fully as you can.
In this technique you combine a series of nine fairly quick shallow thrusts with one slow deep one. The shallow thrusts stimulate your partner's most sensitive vaginal tissues and at the same time create a vacuum effect that makes her ache for the deep thrust to come. And because most of your thrusts are shallow ones, exciting only the first few inches of your penis, you're able to rock on for much longer!
Mind over Muscle
Practicing squeezing your PC muscles will enable you to gradually become so familiar with your genitals, that you will be able to discern each separate muscle group and contract/relax them at will. At first you will tighten your genitals and everything will contract at once. Later you will be able to contract your anal muscles without moving your penis or scrotum, or pull up your scrotum while your anus and penis remain relaxed, or bob your penis up and down while nothing else moves. Eventually just a thought will relax everything, especially your smooth genital muscles, sending your hot sexual energy shooting through your body, not out the end of your penis, but instead into your partner through eye contact, intercourse, or touching.
Smooth muscles are internal muscles over which you normally have no conscious control. You may not have been aware that you have smooth muscles. They're muscles like your heart muscle, the muscles that push your food through your digestive tract and the muscles that push the sperm and semen out the end of your penis. Becoming aware of your smooth muscles and eventually gaining enough mastery to be able to consciously keep them relaxed will enable blood to flow into the penis, maintaining an erection almost indefinitely - certainly long enough to satisfy the most demanding partner, through and through. Gaining control over the smooth muscles in your genitals is the key to maintaining your peak sexual arousal for long periods of time -- even long enough to experience whole body orgasms, rather than simply genital orgasms. In a whole body orgasm your entire body becomes an exquisite erogenous zone, much like your genitals always are. You can actually reach orgasm when your lover is rubbing your chest, or sucking on your toes and fingers, or nibbling your ears and throat. The magical key to opening the doorway into multiple whole body orgasms is relaxation of your smooth muscles, no matter how aroused, excited, or turned on you are.
Train your mind to think of something other than ejaculation. Thinking "I don't want to ejaculate" is still thinking about ejaculation. You must have something else to focus your attention. We don't recommend reciting sports stats or in any way diverting your attention from lovemaking. It is essential that you be fully present from moment to moment. But instead of thinking about ejaculation, or worrying about ejaculating too quickly, we suggest you think about pleasing your partner. Learn to take pleasure for yourself in the pleasing of your partner. Notice how she reacts when your tongue is exploring around her clitoris, but also notice how her clitoris feels on your tongue. Notice how she enjoys when you suck on her nipples, but also notice how her breasts feel pressed against your face. Notice how she moans when you gently run your fingers up the inside of her thighs, but also notice how her skin feels so soft and warm against your fingers. With your attention fully engaged in this way - on your partner, your breath, your genital muscles -- you are going to last a long time. As your lovemaking goes on, and on, and on... perhaps for hours, the energy within you and between you and your lover will accumulate to such an intense level that you may spontaneously experience the opening of your higher "spiritual" centres. With this opening comes an experience of ecstasy, bliss, joy, and wonder. This is where mastery of ejaculation can lead you and your satisfied partner.
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Have you ever thought to yourself, "My sex life would be so much better if my partner was a just little more/less _________"? Yes, you have. It's happened. Human beings are all unique, with all sorts of physical and psychological variations that aren't always ideal for the ultimate sex life. Don't despair, however! Technology has brought us leaps and bounds forward in the search for sexual pleasure. Sex toys are no longer limited to cheap, plastic, phallic-shaped things. There is a wide variety of fun, useful products designed to improve our personal, loving sex lives and strengthen our relationships. So if the man of your dreams just happens to be a little under par in the size department, or you find yourself wanting more than he can give, it doesn't mean you can't have ultimately satisfying sex. Read on…
Problem 1: "He's too small"
There are a few solutions to this problem, if indeed this is a problem at all. Many men who are below average size-wise have learned to use other parts of their body to their partner's grateful benefit. But if his little guy just isn't satisfying you, there are quite a few things to try. First, try different positions: let him take you from behind while you squeeze your legs together, or lie on your back with your knees at your chest and your feet over his shoulders. These positions allow deeper penetration, tighten your vaginal canal and increase sensation for both of you. You can also have him try a penis enhancer. These come in all sizes and shapes to lengthen, thicken, support, and satisfy whatever need you both may have. Third, work your PC muscles. A good set of Smartballs, an updated version of Ben-Wa balls, will strengthen and tighten your internal muscles. With your vaginal muscles primed and toned, you'll be amazed at how much more you'll feel during sex.
Problem 2: "He's too big"
Sorry to disillusion you, guys, but bigger isn't always better. A huge member doesn't always guarantee pleasure; it can often cause pain for women with tight or short vaginal canals. The best solution to this problem is lots of foreplay! Spend lots of time getting her excited using your hands or mouth. When she's ready, slather on a healthy dollop of lubricant and ease in slowly. Silicone-based lubes tend to work best for easing the friction of a tight fit. If he's really long, try a set of penis donuts. These fit tightly at the base of the penis so he'll still receive stimulation, but they're wide enough keep him from going further in than she's comfortable with. Some positions to try: her on top, so she's in complete control of penetration and speed. Side-by-side also limits how deeply he can penetrate.
Problem 3: "He wants it all the time"
If your partner is always after you for sex, and you're never "in the mood," you may be setting yourself up for some serious long-term relationship problems. Try not to think of this as his problem; there are a number of solutions you can enact that can directly affect you. Some things to try:
*Make sure you're keeping a healthy sleep schedule – Not enough sleep leads to a reduction in testosterone, the hormone that gives you a healthy libido.
*Take active responsibility for your sex drive – Figure out what turns you on, don't leave it to your partner to guess. When you pinpoint what gets you in the mood, do it often, share it with your partner, whatever it takes to enjoy yourself.
*Identify and work out issues with your body image – The better you feel about your body, the more likely you are to enjoy sex. This may require getting a gym membership or scheduling counseling.
*Initiate sex, even if you're not in the mood – By taking the reigns, you take control of the situation, which can be a major turn-on for you. You don't even have to go all the way. Oral sex or even manual stimulation will make your partner equally grateful, and can rev up your own lagging libido.
*Fantasize – Let your body and mind get in the mood without the pressure of having to perform or please someone else. Find a fun vibrator or other toy help you enjoy your alone time. The more you exercise your libido, the healthier it'll become.
Problem 4: "He doesn't want it as much as I do"
Biology has set us up for a cruel trick: as we age, a woman's sex drive goes up while a man's libido starts to fall behind. While many women fear this is because they have become less appealing to their partners, in most cases, this couldn't be further from the truth. Here are some things you can do to help yourself out:
*Masturbate – When you need to take the edge off, close the door, turn on some music, and spend some quality time with your favorite rabbit vibrator.
*Make sure it's sex you're after – Identify whether you're actually craving sex, or if you're looking for love, intimacy, affection, or a stress-reducer. There are other ways of receiving these without depending on sex.
*Know your partner's appetites – Learn what turns him on and off. Explore all the options of the things they enjoy, broaden your repertoire of sexual knowledge, and be sure to mix it up. A simple sex swing can make your sex lives seem brand new again.
*Utilize the quickie – Sex doesn't always have to be an hour-long excursion. Use lots of lubricant and make the most of whatever time you have.
Take an active role in improving your sexual happiness, and you'll find that you both benefit. Life changes over time, and your wants and needs will forwever be fluctuating, so be sure to communicate, work through whatever issues you may have together, and don't be afraid to try new things. Satisfaction comes to those who work at it!
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The drug called Viagra, as we all know is not limited to a small section of the society. It is a widely accepted drug with proven records of safety and satisfaction. It has been in market for over five years now. But there are cases where people suffer from some kind of discrepancies or complications after consuming the blue pill.
People share both kinds of views regarding the acceptance of Viagra. The views could be the positive and the negative aspects related to the repercussions of the drug. There have been cases where people, after consuming the drug, have suffered from blindness. The number is very less though, ranging from 38 – 40 people, but the situation still needs to be addressed in some way or the other. Eye specialist from around the world had warned the FDA about the repercussions of the drug on eyes but no preventive measures were taken. The ultimate losers are the people who face the problems after consuming the drug. Eye specialists believe that Viagra may cause damage to some optic nerves because it affects the blood flow in major parts of the body, resulting in blindness.
FDA (Food and Drug Administration) has reported that the recent cases of blindness may have been due to diabetes and heart problems that people carried before consuming the drug. However, it has been known that this problem does affect people suffering from ED but the damage is more lethal in people consuming the blue bill.
The ED drugs work on the mechanism of transferring more blood to the penis. The amount of blood being limited results in improper distribution of blood to other parts of the body. This may be one of the causes of blindness in people consuming Viagra.
Different surveys have revealed that people won’t be open to using the drug if the same problem persists and would look for a better alternative. Viagra manufacturers have realized the seriousness of the problem and would put in their efforts towards overcoming this discrepancy.
The solution to the whole problem is very simple and practical. Firstly, the people with ED must consult their doctors before consuming the drug, especially those suffering from other diseases such as diabetes and cardiovascular complexities. Secondly, there should be a comprehensive awareness program that would spread awareness among people affected by ED. People will have to be more cautious and alert before consuming the drug because they are the one who suffer from lethal side effects.
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Cancer can attack any part of the body; lungs, stomach, reproductory organs and many other parts. A common form of cancer in men is testicular cancer. This is a cancer that occurs in the male sex glands in the scrotum. Testicles produce and store sperms while producing male hormones.
Testicular cancer is also known as germ cell tumor and is of two kinds - seminoma or nonseminoma. About 40% of testicular cancer are seminoma type and the other are divided into four sub-types; choriocarcinoma, teratoma, embryonal carcinoma and yolk sac tumors. The cancer can sometimes also be a combination of both cancers, and are called mixed germ-cell tumors.
Testicular cancer is prevalent in men aged between 15 and 35 and is more common in white men than Asians and blacks. The exact causes are still unknown, but there are various risk factors that can induce testicular cancer. Underdevelopment of testicles, Klinefelter’s syndrome where the man experiences sterility, small testes, breast enlargement and lesser male hormones and those who have had testicular cancer are all prone developing cancer on the other testicle in the 25 years after the attack.
There is nothing that can be done to prevent testicular cancer; the most that could be done is its early detection. Testicular self-exam is a great means of diagnosing testicular cancer; it is always better to test testicles immediately after bathing as this is when the scrotal sac is relaxed. The testicles have to be rolled between the forefinger and thumb for any signs of lumps.
Besides a lump, swelling in the testicles or some changes in the feel of the testicle are symptoms for testicular cancer. Accumulation of fluid in the scrotum or pain in the scrotum is also considered as symptoms of testicular cancer. Though these symptoms may signify other conditions, it is always better to have a physician evaluate the condition. Testicular cancer can also be diagnosed through ultrasound of the scrotum or a biopsy. Once testicular cancer is detected, treatment is rendered according to the extent of the condition.
Depending on whether testicular cancer is seminoma or nonseminoma, and its stage, is its treatment determined. All treatments involve the removal of the affected testicle. However, as this can affect fertility and sexuality, this has to be discussed with the family. With the removal of a testicle, the other testicle is capable of producing sperms and an erection so that it is possible to father a child.
However, any other surgery, radiation and chemotherapy also affect sperm production and ejaculation. So the treatment should be discussed before adapting it. In nonseminomas, the lymph nodes are also removed to find out the extent of tumor spread. However, this is not necessary in seminomas as CT scans provide sufficient information.
Radiation is preferable for seminomas, and not for nonseminomas as they are not sensitive to radiation. When giving radiation, the remaining testicle is usually shielded to prevent radiation reaching it as this may hamper its ability in producing sperms. Though sperm count may reduce after radiation, it returns to normal in a few years of treatment.
Chemotherapy is administered after surgery through injections or orally to kill any tumor cells there may be in the body. Whatever the treatment adapted, it is necessary to have follow up testing because there is always the chance of a recurrence of a second tumor. There are different follow up testing routines to be adapted; it all depends on the case.
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“What terrible times I had when I was the age of my kids? They don’t have to undergo the same despondent feelings my wife and me had to endure”, you lazily say to yourself as the hammock sways to and fro in the gentle breeze. You still dread the day you were diagnosed with erectile dysfunction. “Impotence won’t affect my kids”, you think reassuredly looking at the magic blue pill in your hand.
Viagra has replaced the reliance on painful surgeries and therapies with the popping habit. Viagra was the first approved prescription pill for the treatment of ED. Erectile dysfunction is the sexual dysfunction of men characterized by the inability of penis to attain and maintain sufficient erection for satisfactory and enjoyable sex.
For long, ED was considered as a potential relationship-breaker by the affected patients. Men and women were reporting emotional upheavals and other physical ailments directly to indirectly attributable to ED. The treatments available were not very popular owing to their invasive and painful nature. No oral drug was approved by the US FDA to treat ED till 1998 when Viagra came to the fore.
Actually, the advent of Viagra in itself was nothing more than accidental. Sildenafil Citrate – the active ingredient of Viagra – had been in use for the treatment of angina for the past 20 years. The results for the treatment of angina were not very positive. But sildenafil citrate proved to be a boon for the sufferers of ED. 4 out of 5 patients showed promising signs in the clinical trials. And the rest is history.
Viagra works within 14 minutes of its intake, in some cases. The effects of the drug last up to 4 hours in some cases. With minimal side effects, Viagra became overnight hit and has posted record sales since its launch. The patients, after a proper prescription from the doctor, can buy Viagra online. The privacy and convenience of the patients is generally well looked after by the sites dealing with Viagra online
